GQ talked to 40 individuals about why they waited.
Being truly a virgin later in life could be, possibly first and foremost things, an experience that is incredibly isolating. It is not only an extremely stigmatizing label—only strengthened by media tropes that suggest that older virgins are only punchlines—it’s also seldom talked about freely, truthfully, or with any known amount of compassion.
We chatted to about 40 individuals who stayed virgins it’s like to be a “late”-in-life virgin—why they waited, the obstacles they faced, and what sex was like when they finally had it until they were at least 22 (five years after the average age at which Americans lose their virginity, according to the CDC) to see what.
Needless to say, also asking individuals why they “waited” implies some degree of universal experience, some nonexistent “right time.” The causes individuals offered for losing their virginity later had been all around the map. Some individuals spent my youth in spiritual communities or single-sex schools, which made intercourse more evasive or taboo. Other folks felt unattractive or insecure growing up. Battles with wellness, intimate orientation, and sex dysphoria had been additionally common.
For nearly each and every individual, the worry that is biggest had not been being proficient at intercourse, a tremendously normal concern regardless of once you lose your virginity. The longer you wait, the greater amount of experience partners that are potential have actually—and that disparity can heap on more pressure. The individuals we spoke with also opened concerning the social stigma to be a mature virgin plus the psychological cost it usually takes whenever you’re maybe maybe perhaps not experiencing a thing that it is like most people are doing (and dealing with) on a regular basis.
GQ: So, why do you wait?
“I became raised spiritual and Jewish, therefore no sex until wedding and scarcely any natural conversation between the sexes, either.” —Daniel, 34, Philadelphia, PA